When It Rains...Be Your Own Sunshine

 

Or just wear something that resembles it! 

These days there has been a lot more focus on mental health and I am so glad that people are finally starting to see the importance of it. Ranging from diagnosed mental illnesses to low self esteem, everybody has their own demons. It is crucial to remember that every person has their own personal battle and while some people can hide it well, others cannot, therefore do not be quick to judge somebody without knowing their story.

 

Throughout my life I always knew I loved to write and I wanted to share that with the world. I started countless blogs, but they always fizzled out and it was because I always thought that I had to pick a certain way to go and stick to it. Meaning, if I wrote about Fashion it had to only be Fashion or if I share my personal writings it had to be just that etc. But, now I am older and I came to the conclusion that this is a platform where I can reach out to people that I know and do not know...so why not share a bit of everything. As I mentioned, everybody has their own story and you never know when your own story can touch and help somebody without you even knowing. So back to the mental health topic!

When I was younger I definitely struggled with low self esteem. It all started when my aunt made a comment about my weight and I went from being a happy-go-lucky, eat everything young girl to a girl who stared in the mirror noticing "flaws", a girl who plastered her walls with pictures of models and aspired to be them (I was determined to be the next Kate Moss) without realizing the "behind the scenes" reality. For many years I was strict with my weight not allowing myself to go over 105, sometimes even trying to drop lower. I would make up lies to avoid eating like telling my parents that I ate at a friend's house or telling my friends' that I will eat at home. I started to drink a lot of coffee and energy drinks and I took up smoking. Of course, this did not replace food, but it took my mind off of it.

When I went to college I started to eat a little bit more, but I also decided to go vegetarian which limited what I can eat, especially on a college meal plan. As the years went on and I got older, I started to accept myself more and more. I decided to focus on the positive instead of the negative and if I ate cake I did not do hours of cardio to try to burn it off. I definitely gained weight...now I weigh 140, but I feel better. Do not get me wrong, I still have my days where I might not like the way I look and I start being critical with myself, but I try harder now to get myself out of that state of mind instead of dwelling in it. I also have day where I go through severe anxiety with the smallest thing setting it off, or days where I feel like I am just stuck under a dark cloud...and that is completely okie. We are all human beings and we have bad days and we have good days. The important thing is...do not dwell on the bad and do not judge others on their bad days either.

 

Here's to all of you! Walking away from anything that is holding you back and achieving anything and everything that you set your mind to!

"I am an amazing human being, living an incredibly blessed life. 

I am worthy of all things wonderful. 

I grow and learn each day. 

I let go of regrets from the past as they hold me there and prevent me from experiencing the now.

I may have experienced true heartache in my lifetime but through that time I have discovered deep compassion.

I do not feel the need to compete against anyone or be better than anybody else. I aspire only to be a better person than I was yesterday.

I am grateful that I am given each new day to grow, learn and love." 

xx,

Kasia